Bonus Episode 24 - Apparently!

Available now for all $5 Patrons

It's time to get spooky with this month's bonus episode filled with do gets! This month we talk about what is/isn't a soup, our experiences with haunted houses, weird comic book multiverses, and shorthand communication. As always, thanks to YOU our lovely patrons for supporting the show, and we'll see you next month for another round of do gets.
* Soup
* Haunted Houses
* Comic Book Alternate Universes
* Shorthand

Bonus Episode 23 - Haunted Telephone

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Available to all $5 Patrons now!

Hey there, folks! For your monthly bonus episode we talk about things we remember! Like, the month of September. Despite what Earth Wind & Fire told you, it’s been very cloudy here. Join us as we get into why we love:  

* Cars (aka Owen Wilson’s drug money)
* Urban Exploring (aka breaking and entering)
* Flashlights (aka Torches, for you wierdos)
* Good Packaging (Big, toight packages)

Catch us next month for another round of Do Gets, and as always thank you for your patronage! Listen to this one on the 21st for maximum effect! 

Bonus Episode 22 - Rock and Roll D.I.Y.

Available Now! To all $5 Patrons at www.Patreon.com/HWIDG 

It’s that time of year again. Back to school! As you either whisk your little ones away or move your stuff into your dorm, remember to take some time for the things you love! Don’t worry, that essay can write itself the night before it’s due. How about you listen to this month’s Bonus Episode instead and get some ideas on how to wind down after a cram session. This month’s do-gets include:

- Cold Drink on a Hot Day
- Fixing it Yourself
- Rock Band
- Bitching

Literally nothing is more refreshing than an ice-cold drink when you’re hot. Name one thing more refreshing. I dare you. You can’t. Whether it’s a glass of sugary-sweet lemonade, a fizzy pop, or even just a nice chilled glass of water, nothing feels better. Been working out? Cranking them lifts? BAM! Cold glass of water. Maybe you’ve been mowing your front lawn and trimming trees? BAM! Lemonade cures all. Maybe it’s just a hot day, and you’ve been out riding your bike all over town with your buddies. BAM! Grab a nice root beer from the Stop-n-Go, but STEAL IT THAT MAKES IT FEEL EVEN BETTER.

Sometimes, you’re way in over you head. You’re not gonna be able to un-total a car. But for those smaller problems, the ones that others might immediately go to a specialist for? Well, my friends we’re here to tell you to fix it yourself. It’s a wondrous sense of accomplishment that comes along with it. Researching, gathering your tools, and fixing it step by step makes you feel like a productive member of society. You really out-did yourself this time. Go you.

Thank you Harmonix. You music game gods that gave us this beauty of a rock n’ roll simulation. It’s the closest you can get without actually learning an instrument to being in a band. It’s the best parts of karaoke, Guitar Hero, and party games all put together in a toight package like Robert Plant. It’s so much fun that when Tab recently lost his 8/9 year old save game, he didn’t say “screw this, I’m done”. He just started over again. And let me tell you folks, that is an amazing feat, and a very telling sign.

Getting something off your chest. Everyone’s gotta do it. Whether it’s work bringing you down, this mixed-up freaky world of ours, or you spilled some ketchup on your shirt, you can’t keep it bottled up inside. That’s how people go crazy. Think about it like an engine. You’re building up all this heat and nasty gunk inside, you’ve got an exhaust for a reason. Use it. Other wise it’ll all end up in your head and you’ll look like someone from Scanners by the end of the week. We don’t want that, you don’t want that.  (But if that does happen, film it for posterity. Exploding heads are always cool.)

As always, a big thanks to you Patrons for supporting the show. Your money is being put to good use on plenty of cold drinks and Rock Band DLC.

Bonus Episode 21 - The Great Chili Debate

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Available now to all $5 Patrons!

This month we've got these exciting do gets!

- Salsa
- Chili
- 40 Hours
- Rain

Quickly becoming the leading condiment on Earth Salsa is like ketchup, but for Mexican food, and has many different flavors. I guarantee out there somewhere is a Salsa for you. I think I am going to create an online dating website for Salsa, then one for Whiskey.

Hotly contested second Do Get this month. Chili, one host loves it, and one host hates it. Is this the end of HWIDG?

Bouncing off an issue in episode 85, 40 hours? Is it an issue or a Do Get? Listen to both episodes and you decide, or is Tab just really trying to hammer home that he has a job and that's why he stopped doing Madcucks. I mean he totally isn't going bald and blocking people because he's been infected.

Our final do get this month is Rain. Where would we be without the magical water falling from the sky? We'd be dead. So put on your dancing shoes and summon some rain clouds while you're listening to this great episode.

As always thank you so much to our patreon supporters, be sure to check out the Discord if you haven't already. Comment below on which side of the Chili Debate you fall.

Bonus Episode 19 - Water Heater Hacks

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Available now to all $5 Patrons!

The heat is on, folks. On the stove, in the sky, oppressing the ones you love with it's sweltering radiance. Here at Here's What I Don't Get, we're trying to keep cool by any means necessary, cold showers, popsicles, the works. We find what works best is sticking the following do gets in the freezer for about 15 minutes:

- Hot Water
- Cooking Competition shows
- Bullying
- Getting rid of things

Due to the amount of rage Tab has to deal with, he often comes home from a long day of work covered in the blood of various people. A mildly warm shower won't take care of that. No, you need a black market shower head built for elephants, and a hacked water heater. The steam opens up your pores, you know.

Chopped, Cutthroat Kitchen, Top Chef, MasterChef, Tim loves 'em all. Can't get enough. Seriously. And Tab has a problem with that. High cuisine and fine dining are a whole other world it seems. Prepare yourselves for a four course meal in what may be the most controversial do get yet.

Bullying. A little goes a long way. No one should be getting pounded in the face for wearing glasses, but just like in exercise where you break down those muscles and they grow back stronger, a little bullying and standing up to it prepares you for life. Unfortunately, zero tolerance policies these days let the kids know that defending yourself is wrong. Sounds to me like the school administrators need a bit of bullying themselves.

Minimalism, it's all the rage these days. Living minimally means getting rid of those superfluous things that take up all that room. Burn them if you have to. Just get rid of them. With flames. Dancing against the night sky. The ashes land on your tongue. They taste sweetly of bitterness. The fire is in us all. Release it.

Thanks for supporting the podcast folks, we couldn't do it without you! I mean, we could, but it wouldn't be as fun. Don't forget to Vote on Next Month's Commentary 

Bonus Episode 18 - Special Delivery

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Available now to all $5 Patrons!

It’s that time of the month again. Time to crank up the tunes and put on your dancing shoes, because Here’s What I DO Get is finally here. Take our hand and let us lead you to the dance floor and boogie down, just don’t step on our shoes as we dance to the sweet sounds of:

-Not Being the New Guy
-The Circus
-Coheed and Cambria
-Socks

Being the new person anywhere tends to suck, work, school, you name it. It’s awkward, you stand out, and people call you “New Kid” instead of your actual name. So, as soon as someone takes your place, there’s a big wave of relief that washes over you. But on the other hand, you no longer have that extra shield to save you from mistakes. Before you know it, you’re calling them “new guy” too.

You wanna get pumped to go to the circus? Two words: Sabre Dance. It’s high flying danger, jaunty comedy, and goddamn lions jumping through goddamn flaming hoops, what else could you want?! You don’t want to see a Mad Max style motorcycle stunt called THE GLOBE OF DEATH? What’s wrong with you?

Look, Tim’s into some weird stuff, alright? So it’s no surprise that his favorite band is an emo/prog/punk/rock band that sings about almost-human robots with gun arms and telekinetic powers, and spaceship battles, and poisoning your children, and viruses that can blow up galaxies, and blue-skinned killer angel ladies, and that’s just the FIRST album! He likes them a lot, and he’ll talk his head off to you about them, but he won’t be pushy about it.

Socks! They’re shoes without the hassle of laces, stretchy enough to cover holiday bloating, cheap enough to have lots of, and diverse enough to have whatever the hell you want printed on them. Tab’s a pretty straightforward all black socks kinda guy, but Tim’s got all kinds of colored and patterned socks. 

All this, plus we talk about the ethical quandaries of cheating in school, and we open our first viewer mailbag! As always thanks for supporting the show, remember to vote for next month’s movie commentary, and we’ll see you next time.

Bonus Episode 17 - Black Panther for HWIDG Fans

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Available now for all $5 Patrons

Welcome back patrons to another round up of all those things we DO get this month. This time we're discussing these very important issues.

- A Full 8 Hours
- Peanut Butter
- Hats
- Halloween

Every 10 minutes some one participates in the sleep olympics, you know what I am talking about. "Oh last night I only slept 3 hours." "That's nothing, I only slept 2 hours, 3 days ago." "OH YEAH, Well I haven't slept since I was a child." At the end of the day the winner is still the biggest loser, because you and me, we planned our lives properly and got that sweet sweet 8 hours last night, and every night. The best part of waking up, is realizing it's before your alarm and you can go back to sleep.

The next best part of waking up is peanut butter, not just for tricking your dog into licking your balls. Peanut Butter is the perfect combo of protein and sugar. You can use it for a healthy lunch, and then for desert add a pound of sugar and bake for 20 - 25 minutes into a Chocolate Chip Peanut Butter Cookie. Who was there for you when your lunch account ran out for one fucking day, and god forbid the lunch lady just let you eat the regular lunch and figure your family could pay back the $2 the next day? A peanut butter sandwich, that's who, and don't you forget it.

This show has had a long running gag of the hat and shades meme. I'll be honest, I don't get it. I was worried when I joined the show they were gonna make me get a trump hat, fortunately that didn't happen. Hats were a great invention, they keep your hair looking nice, and if you're bald like a certain ass blasted armenian, or dipshit online journalist a hat can protect your frail ego. A hat is also a tool, think of all the cool shit you could be doing with a hat right now.

It may seem premature but it is time to start thinking about Halloween. That's right you only have six months to hit the gym to fit into that slutty outfit that might as well be underwear this Halloween. If Christmas can slowly bleed the life out of the Calendar it's time other holidays challenge it and Halloween should be the one. It has no religious overtones, except for the dumb fuck assholes that call it "The Devil's Birthday." It's fun no matter what age you are, and the decorations look cool as shit. What other time of year can you get pulled over with a body in the trunk and laugh it off? That's what I thought.

As always thank you to all of the patrons here at HWIDG. You keep the show going with your support. Join the Discord if you haven't already and vote on the issues and talk to us about what you don't get. Also don't forget to vote on this month's movie commentary


Bonus Episode 16

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Available now for all $5 Patrons!

This month on Here’s What I Do Get:  
* Puzzles
* Shutting The Fuck Up
* Being Right
* Turning It Off

Sure you're a lazy do nothing who weighs 400 lbs, what are you going to do exercise? No. Unless you're exercising your mind. Puzzles aren't just movie posters that Edward Scissorhands got a hold of. You can do them on your phone or the computer. Put numbers in boxes, or letters, or rearrange some letters. Unwind with a puzzle, you've earned it.

While you enjoy that puzzle, here is something low calorie, vegan, and gluten free. Shutting the Fuck Up. Look, we've all had that thought, but next time instead of saying it, just Shut the Fuck Up. Maybe your wife won't yell at you for 10 minutes. Online argument not going the way you planned? Here's a steaming hot cup of STFU. Shutting the Fuck Up now at Walmart.

Unfortunately you can't always Shut the Fuck Up, and when that happens you gotta be right. Being right is the greatest feeling on Earth. Those three little words that make you the king of everything "You Were Right." Who doesn't have a great day when they are proven right. You may never hear that though, because the other party may learn the lesson and never tell you, but you know, deep down in your heart. You were right.

Finally right after this episode what are you going to do? Turn it off. Sometimes you just need to get away from the world and the constant pings and beeps of the digital world and be human again. Go to dinner and leave your phone in the car. Turn off the TV and play a game with your family. Just turn it all off for a little bit and see how not being on all the time feels good.

Well that wraps it up for this months bonus episode. We'll be seeing you in a couple weeks for the Minisode with a very special guest. If you're wallet is feeling a little bit fat why not double your pledge and vote in the Monthly Movie Commentary and catch it with us on March 1st. Thanks for supporting the show!

Bonus Episode 15

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Available now for all $5 Patrons!

Here's What We Do Get this month:
* Silence
* Filtered Water
* Organizing Files
* Ad-blockers 

 Tab Blows the episode intro so badly we almost had to cancel the show. 

Speaking of cancelling the show, that would leave you our first do get this month. Silence. Silence is the feeling of taking off your shoes at the end of a long day. Silence is that first bite of a delicious steak. Silence is the only non physical entity described as gold. 

What else is gold?   Well that water filter in your fridge, it's the gold standard separating you from being healthy, or living in Flint Michigan. Wether it's attached to the back of your fridge like a hideous mole, or a plastic contraption constantly needing to be refilled filtered water is great.   What is a water filter really if not just an organized and specifc place to store your water? 

That's why Tim gets Organizing Files, we go off the deep end into a really hot and heavy discussion on file storage on our computers does someone pop a boner?   You'll never know because that Boner, had an advertisement for some obnoxious cereal on the tip of it and you aren't an idiot, you use ad block. 

Remember the days when searching for porn was followed quickly by a scan with your anti-virus? Not anymore, now you're more likely to get a virus visiting imgur or CNN because they used some shittier ad server. Please though, put some stupid thing in my face about turning off ad block.  

Thanks once again for Supporting the show, stay tuned for a Minisode coming on the 30th, and Madcucks vs Discuckery coming back to finish the season!

Minisode 3 - With Buck

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Audio available now to all HWIDG Patrons!

Video Available now to all $5 Patrons!

ThankTHnullTHnulTHTHnullTHnulTThanksThankTHnullTHnulTHTHnullTHnulTTYup.

(What you see above is what happens when I try to post to patreon from my phone.  I was gonna come to my pc and fix it, but I decided it should stay.  Thanks for your support, everyone!)

Bonus Episode 11 - Term Limits

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Available now to all $5 Patrons!

That's right, it's another bonus episode for our illustrious Patreon subscribers!  Without your contributions, this podcast COULD NOT happen, so thank you!


 . . . also, sorry about the audio quality.  Turns out trying to record two people in my upstairs studio  . . . ehhh . . . not really the best way to do things. -ub

Bonus Episode 9 - Here's What I Would Do About It

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Available now to all $5 Patrons!

Tab and Uncle Buck sit down and go over every single issue that has been brought in to the show.  From flushless urinal piss to the Santa Clause myth, we provide a real-world solution to everything we've not gotten over the last six months.  Have you got any alternate solutions?  We'd love to hear from you!  Maybe we'll go over listener solutions on the next bonus episode!

Bonus Episode 8 - Modern Marvels

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Available now to all $5 Patrons!

Welcome to another edition of Here's What I DO Get!  Together in the studio, Tab and Uncle Buck relax a bit and talk about the following Gets:

Modern Medicine
The Marvel Cinematic Universe

Don't mind the sounds of heavy construction taking place as we chat; at least it isn't a lawn mower!  When my dad mows the lawn, it really interferes with my lazy afternoon naps, almost as much as my crippling sleep apnea.  Thank God we have modern medicine that produces machines to enhance our bodies . . . OR REPLACE THEM!

Everyone loves a good movie, but are you really committed?  Maybe Tab should be committed, because he fanboys out over the Marvel movies, whereas Buck takes a more relaxed approach.  And if you really want to feel relaxed, nothing induces a couch coma more than the family scenes from Breaking Bad.  How does Anna make Tab want to grab a gun?  You'll have to listen to find out!

Bonus Episode 7 - Madcucks Unmasked

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Available now for all $5 Patrons!

The artist known as Madcucks has dropped his crowns, and the dumb guy voice, in order to give our Patreon supporters a chance to meet the man behind the gimmick.

Meet Tab... Madcucks minus the 'cucks.

We talk about the development of the character, his experience since creating the role for himself, as well as his recent trip to California to appear on the Dick Show with Dick Masterson and Sean the Audio Engineer.

Tab is "a rage" in his own right, and comes packed with an encyclopedia of knowledge pertaining to the Biggest Problem in the Universe, as well as his muse, Maddox himself.

We'll be bringing Tab back in the future, as he's a great voice, a great comedy mind, and an overall great guy.

PLEASE We ask that you do not share this episode in a pirated fashion, and that you respect that this is bonus content provided by Here's What I Don't Get.

Bonus Episode 6 - F*ckery is Afoot

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Available now to all $5 Patrons!

After what amounted to being a pretty stressful week, Uncle Buck and Joel Chaco reflect on how their podcast was almost permanently removed from iTunes, on account of a flagging campaign and a simple error regarding explicit words in show descriptions.

Along the way, Joel Chaco received confirmation from iTunes that the show had received multiple flaggings for "offensive content", despite the show being labeled as E for Explicit.

While down from iTunes, it also became apparent that other entities tied to the show had mysteriously also had a bad month. Joel Chaco lists off the string of "coincidences" involved for HWIDG, and for friends of the show.

In this episode, Buck and Chaco delve into the /mystery/ of the show's 1-star reviews, as well as the similarities between the attacks made on guests and friends of the show.

This was NOT the first time that a review brigade was done on the show. http://imgur.com/a/aZNw1

It's not all just goss though. Nope, Buck and Chaco talk about their brushes with death (bit of a hat nod to Larry Bleidner there), as well as their recent improvement on their sleep.

Join us for a more casual format in this, the latest installment of HWIDG bonus material. Thanks again for the support!

New show to be recorded Tuesday March 7th (Tomorrow) at 4:30pm EST. If you'd like to hear yourself on the show, feel free to leave us a voicemail at (704) 750-9434.

PLEASE NOTE: The ice chewing is Uncle Buck, and he felt it would be funny to leave it in. We'll be reuploading the episode again later without it, on account of the noise driving Joel Chaco nuts.